(Feeling) judged by Door Dash
Tuesday, March 19, 2024
It’s a simple enough question:
“How many people did you order for?”
Just another mundane data pull for Door Dash so our future robot overlords know exactly how many items to send my way in the future when they’ve become the means of production at McDonald’s, which has had more of my patronage than I’m comfortable admitting to in the last several months.
Nothing quite as jarring to see how many times you’ve ordered the same thing from a corporation tailored to lull us into complacency through carbs and corn syrup.
Besides the implicit invasion of what remains of my privacy, there’s the implication that I’m either ordering more than I should, or that I’m only ordering for one.
I’d admit to reading too much into this, but if the machines are truly going to rule us one day, they too will need to adapt themselves to the various judgmental queries that we inflict on each other regularly:
- Do you have kids?
- What do you do for work?
- How do you think the Cowboys will do this year?
Here’s what I hear:
- I hate my kids, but need to feel morally superior by pointing out that you don’t have any of your own.
- My job drained whatever dreams I had long ago, but I’m hoping that your job will make me feel just that much better about myself.
- Since I have not identity of my own, I fill that void with things like watching sports and opinions on hot wings, and I am incapable of understanding anyone who doesn’t do likewise.
Have I mentioned how much fun I am at parties?